


Of Penguins and Rockstars

by Kai_Puppet



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Gen, Just another night at Oswalds, Mother waddles basically just wanted to be alive and do sketchy shit in a fic, One Shot, Song fic, Tell me to go work on Penguins and tuna fish, What the shit is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_Puppet/pseuds/Kai_Puppet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night of fun and music at Oswald's almost leads to something that clearly Mother doesn't approve of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Penguins and Rockstars

**Author's Note:**

> I get bored on long drive to the cities and like to blare the same song over and over again~ apparent the muses felt creative and decided they were gonna make a fic with it! So here is this lovely trash I'm gonna go wonder back to my hole and work on burying Oswald alive again. 
> 
> Song lyrics are in Italics   
>  if anyone wants to listen I'll give you the youtube link!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmkHqUwa4zg

    The lights dimmed as the main act took the stage at Oswald's night club. For three weeks the same girl had been singing for their usual house band and for three weeks Butch, Gabe and Victor had been becoming increasingly amused by the girl's efforts on getting their Boss's attention. Oswald now sat center stage so they figured tonight could be a good show as the drums kicked up along with the bass, signaling it was time for the song to begin.  
    "So you think Cobblepot's finally gonna get the hint?" Butch questioned from behind the bar where he stood mixing a drink for Victor, who gladly accepted with his usual creepy smirk. "She couldn't be more obvious. Maybe Fish was right and he really is just that stupid."  
    Gabe snorted into his drink, rolling his eyes at the comment. Fish could insult Butch himself and he'd still think it was accurate. "Nothing short of her landing in his lap doing a strip tease might clue him in," he replied, noticing Gerturde had chosen to sit next to her son for the performance. "If she's smart she won't try anything like that with his Mom sitting right next to him."  
  
 _“Don't listen to what you're girlfriend says, she reads those magazines. They say you've failed the test~ you don't have what she needs.”_  
  
    "Oh yeah, forgot she's the reason Cobblepot is going to end up being the 40-year-old virgin," Butch joked, laughing, nearly choking on his own drink. Victor whistled and pointed to the stage where the women was working her way downstage and in front of Oswald, who was beginning to look slightly flustered when she chose to straddle his lap and lean in close. "Well I'll be damned, just when you think you've seen it all."  
    “Pay up, Mr. Gilzean," Victor remarked, still wearing his predatory smirk as he watched, curious what the girl was planning to do. "50 dollars, I believe, since you didn't think things would escalate so far."  
    The girl currently occupying Oswald's lap was scantily clad, complete with piercings and brightly dyed hair--certainly not anyone the mobster would dream of bringing home to meet his mother--and yet she was undoing his tie, with her lips dangerously close to his as she sang to only him as if no one else was in the room. He was fairly certain if looks could kill his mother would have killed the singer; he could almost feel her stare bore into him.  
     _"I slither like a viper, and get you by the neck,"_ she sang, dragging a painted nail down his now exposed neck before getting close again. Oswald could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks and he knew he must be blushing like mad as he felt a pair of soft lips ghost against his own. _"I know a thousand ways to make you forget about her,"_ she threw her head back and lifted a leg to get up from Oswald's lap with clearly practiced grace as she eyed Gerturde for a moment, smirking at her.  
     _"That bitch can eat her heart out! Love bites~~~but so do I!"_ she belted out as she twirled and made her way around the room and over to the bar, winking at the three who just gawked at her antics before making her way back to the stage and her target.  
     _"My lips are pale and vicious~you're foaming at the mouth."_ She smiled, knowing Oswald wanted her. She had him hook,line, and sinker; all she had to do was reel him in. She circled the chair Oswald was in, running a hand through his hair, leaning in to whisper the next line of the song. _"You've suffered in the darkness, I'll suck the pain right out."_ She smiled when he turned his head toward her, granting easier access to actually kiss him.  
  
 _"So come and taste the reason, I'm nothing like the rest._  
 _I'll kiss you in away you'll never forget about me."_  
  
    She licked her lips, not waiting to observe Penguin's reactions to her blatant affections as she made her way to the stage to finish the song. Johnny joined in to sing as he played bass.  
  
   _"That chick can eat her heart out!!! Love bites~~ But so do I~ so do I!"_  
  
    The song ended as soon as it had began and the crowd roared in applause, much to Oswald's joy as he got up from his seat, still touching his lips. Not exactly how he planned his first actual kiss but he wasn't going to complain either, as he walked over to the bar to find all his associates smirking at him. "Don't you have jobs to do?" he questioned, refusing to meet any of them in the eye, a faint blush still apparent on his face.  
    "Awww, is Oswald a little embarrassed?" Butch teased as he cleaned glasses, hoping he didn't piss off his boss enough for him to chuck one. Cleaning up glass was at the bottom of his list of things to do tonight, but he couldn't resist teasing Cobblepot a little after the show he was just apart of. "If I were you I'd go find that girl in the dressing room and finish what she started, because she clearly wants you and she ain't hard on the eyes, Boss."  
    True to his impulsive nature, Oswald picked up a glass, and Butch dodged under the bar before he could become a target. "You'd do well to hold your tongue, Mr. Gilzean," the Penguin snapped, even more embarrassed as Gabe hid his face with his hand to hide his chuckle, while Victor just rolled his eyes at the childish display. Clearly he'd have to work with Penguin on some self control if he was going to rule the city; but that was a lesson for another time. "Gabe, could you be a gentlemen and bring Mother home--preferably before she guts me for that display." He adjusted his tie, scanning the room for said woman. "Where did she get off to?"  
    "Oswald Chesterfield Kapelput," Gerturde yelled, her accent and slurred words making it harder to understand with how much she'd had to drink as she stormed over to the group. "I will not have some slut preforming on stage like this; your club is to be respectable!" Oswald's eyes widened paying more attention to the fact her dress was splattered with blood then what she was saying.  
    "Mother, what did you do," Oswald sighed. He rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on as she hugged him. "Please, Gabe will bring you home."  
    Gertrude smiled, kissing him before Gabe managing to pry her away. "I took care of your problem, Oswald. Now you find a new act," she scolded as she walked away. "My boy is a good boy, Gabriel...she won't bother him anymore!"  
    Oswald cringed, wiping his mouth before downing the offered drink from Butch. "She broke out the middle name, you're in trouble Oswald," the lackey mused before laughing. Going back to finishing cleaning up the broken glass. "Forget what I said about finishing what was started 'cause apparently that's all you're going to get. Don't worry kid, someday we'll get you laid!"  
    "Yes, well, we can't have everything we want, can we," Oswald muttered, trying to ignore the last comment made. His eyes flashing as he eyed Victor, knowing the messed needed to be cleaned up before someone found it. "Be a dear and take care of that will you"  
    "You're wish is my command, Little Prince," Victor mocked, bowing slightly, smirk on his face before stalking away from the bar and whistling the tune of the song. If she was just as impulsive as her son, Victor had a feeling he'd have quite the mess to clean up.  
  
 _"It checks you in and kicks you down,_  
 _And chews you up and spits you out._  
 _It messes with your sanity by twisting all your thoughts around._  
 _They say it’s blind they say it waits but every time it seals your fate._  
 _And now it’s got you by the balls it won’t let go until you fall._  
 _I was down and out, got up I said “Hey love I’ve had enough!”_  
 _I’ve felt pleasure without pain._  
 _My soul you’ll never tame!_  
  
 _Love bites, but so do I._  
 _Love bites, but so do I, so do I_  
 _Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!_  
 _Love bites, but so do I, so do I._  
 _Love bites!_  
 _Love bites!"_


End file.
